The Bad Hobbit

Mother Streusel The Bad Hobbit

I know of a bad hobbit

He’s very irritating

He’s always doing something

That people find frustrating

He likes to chew his fingernails

He likes to pick his nose

You’ll notice that the table’s

Always under his elbows

He never wipes his feet

When he comes into a house

And when he chews his dinner

He doesn’t close his mouth

He won’t cover his face

If he needs to cough or sneeze

I’m not sure if he’s ever said

A thank you or a please

He’s often interrupting

He doesn’t listen well

I don’t think that he bathes much

Going by the smell

He makes lots of rude noises

And then acts very proud

He gossips and complains

And always talks too loud

I know of a bad hobbit

I doubt you’d like to know him

There are no books about him

Though someone wrote a poem

Advertisements

Butterflies

(This poem is meant to be silly and may or may not be true. It is, however, more true than not. Please be kind to butterflies, though feel free to move away if one tries to land on you.)

People think that butterflies

Are perfect and pure

Well I am a butterfly

And that’s not really true

Mother Streusel

People are happy

When a butterfly comes close

But a butterfly’s an insect

And all insects are gross

Mother Streusel

Even though we’re pretty

And we don’t give bites or stings

We’re rude and crude and smelly

And we like disgusting things

Mother Streusel

Oh sure I drink nectar

I like anything that’s wet

But that includes rotten fruit

Puddles, dung and sweat

Mother Streusel

So if I land on you

Don’t feel special that I picked you

Instead you should wash that spot

‘Cause guess what? I just licked you!

Mother Streusel

© 2014 Karyn Linnell

Bears

Image

Big bears

Little bears

In the house

On the stairs

Doing dances

Like the limbo

Standing with

Their arms akimbo

In the kitchen

Eating scones

In the street

With traffic cones

Image

Image

In the tub

In the den

This one slobbered

On my pen

Image

The ink leaked

His face is black

No, I do not

Want it back!

Image

No, don’t put it

On the chair!

Ugg! Ink is getting

Everywhere!

Clean this up!

Seriously, I mean it.

What do you mean

That I should clean it?!

Image

You made this mess!

Don’t ask when!

I just watched you

Chew my pen!

It’s not my fault

That the pen burst!

Bears for roommates

Are the worst

© 2014 Karyn Linnell