Aunt Mabel

        Mother Streusel

Whenever we have dinner

At the home of my Aunt Mabel,

I must be extra careful

And polite while at the table.

Mother Streusel

Aunt Mabel is quite sensitive

To any sign of crudeness,

And I never can predict what words

Offend her with their rudeness.

Mother Streusel

She asks me what I’m learning

And expects me to reply.

I try to answer safely,

But things often go awry.

Mother Streusel

One year it was the alphabet.

What problems could there be?

Aunt Mabel lost her temper

When I said the letter P.

Mother Streusel

Aunt Mabel started choking

Upon a piece of onion

When I said my class had read

The tall tale of Paul Bunyan.

Mother Streusel

One year we got into a fight.

She said that I began it,

Because I said uranus

While listing off each planet.

Mother Streusel

You doubt she is that sensitive?

I promise you that it’s true.

Last year she nearly sent me home

When I said the word shampoo.

Mother Streusel

Mother Streusel

© 2014 Karyn Linnell

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Grandma

(This poem has nothing to do with any of my relatives in case any of them are reading this.)Mother Streusel

I have crazy grandma

Who goes to great extremes

When she tells me something

It’s never what it seems

Mother Streusel

I had a birthday party

She said, “I will be there.

I got you a balloon.”

Turns out it was hot air

Mother Streusel

“Hey, let’s go out to dinner,”

She said, so I got ready

We took a plane to Italy

Because I like spaghetti

Mother Streusel

“Would you like a playhouse?”

She bought the lot next door

It has an elevator

And a gym on the third floor

Mother Streusel

I told my mom, “I’m nervous.”

She asked me, “Why is that?”

“Grandma called to tell me

That she got me a cat.”

© 2014 Karyn Linnell