The Vanity of Animals

(Another great suggestion for a poem from Michelle. Thank you again. By the way, did you know that the narwhal’s “horn” is actually a giant overgrown canine tooth? I didn’t until today!)

Mother Streusel

A rather stuffy narwhal

Often found it hard to smile.

The holes in his hats

Were really not in style.

Mother Streusel

“I must cover my baldness.

It’s quite the thing to do,

But this blasted horn

Is always poking through.”

Mother Streusel

A posh and proper hippo

With lots of girth and muscle

Was having a fitting

For a rear-enhancing bustle.

Mother Streusel

“On the river this spring

All the hippos will wear them,

And I must be the best

When we look to compare them.”

Mother Streusel

An elegant giraffe

Performed a double check

On the forty-seven necklaces

Dangling from her neck.

Mother Streusel

“Don’t my jewels look lovely?”

She asked in tones elated.

“Just a few more perhaps

To look more elongated.”

Mother Streusel

From a narcissistic narwhale

To a neck-obsessed giraffe,

The vanity of animals

Ought to make one laugh.

© 2014 Karyn Linnell

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Hats

Mother Streusel

I always wear a hat

Each day of the week

Because of all the food that

My hats will let me sneak

Mother Streusel

My top hat at the movies

Can keep popcorn secluded

And porkpie hats are excellent

For all pies, pork included

Mother Streusel

At the bowling alley

My bowler hat hides fries

So I don’t have share them

With any other guys

Mother Streusel

Homburgs hide my hamburgers

Beanies hide my beans

Bananas in my Panama

My green eyeshade’s for greens

Mother Streusel

Akubra to zucchetto

Snacks and feasts and meals

I never have to leave behind

The food my hat conceals

Mother Streusel

While I don’t go hungry

The one downside is that

Folks look at you funny

When you eat out of a hat

© 2014 Karyn Linnell