Belts

   Mother Streusel

I’m having a dilemma

And need some help please!

If I don’t wear a belt

My pants fall to my knees

And if I wear a belt

It’s so tight I will pop

I can hardly breathe

And I have a muffin top

Mother Streusel

I try to adjust it

To get the belt just right

But every setting seems to be

Too loose or tight

I’ve tried each type of belt

Leather, cloth and plastic

I thought I solved my problem

When I tried elastic

Mother Streusel

Until that belt stretched out

It was quite immodest

My pants fell down at school

And they sent me to the office

The principal looked stern

I didn’t have a chance

I trembled as I stood

Holding tightly to my pants

Mother Streusel

He said, “I have decided

The verdict to be rendered

Is for you to be

Immediately suspendered.”

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Love

     Mother Streusel

Mother Streusel

My love for you is like a star

Sparkling and spangled

Like octopus’s tentacles

My heart is all a tangled

Mother Streusel

Mother Streusel

My love for you is like a fruit

Perfectly we’re peared

My love is like a spiderweb

I have been ensnared

Mother Streusel

Mother Streusel

My love is like a sparrow

My heart is always singing

My love is like a monkey

With all the joy I’m flinging

Mother Streusel

My love for you is like a mirror

It makes me see so clearly

My love is like a bulldog’s bite

I hold onto you dearly

Mother Streusel

My love is nothing like an owl

I am not asking hoo

My love is like caller ID

I already know it’s you

Hats

Mother Streusel

I always wear a hat

Each day of the week

Because of all the food that

My hats will let me sneak

Mother Streusel

My top hat at the movies

Can keep popcorn secluded

And porkpie hats are excellent

For all pies, pork included

Mother Streusel

At the bowling alley

My bowler hat hides fries

So I don’t have share them

With any other guys

Mother Streusel

Homburgs hide my hamburgers

Beanies hide my beans

Bananas in my Panama

My green eyeshade’s for greens

Mother Streusel

Akubra to zucchetto

Snacks and feasts and meals

I never have to leave behind

The food my hat conceals

Mother Streusel

While I don’t go hungry

The one downside is that

Folks look at you funny

When you eat out of a hat

© 2014 Karyn Linnell

A Young Man In Love

Mother Streusel

A young man once fell in love

With a woman quite resistant.

She said, “You must prove your love,

And you must be persistent.”

Mother Streusel

He said, “I will prove my love

And show you how I feel.

I’ll do a great number of things

To prove my love is real.

Mother Streusel

I’ll watch a thousand baseball games

And drink soda till I burst.

I’ll stay up playing video games

And eat bacon and bratwurst.

Mother Streusel

I’ll buy a lot of comic books.

I’ll play my bass guitar.

I’ll spend hours at the hardware store

And tinker with my car.

Mother Streusel

I’ll hang out with my buddies.

We’ll grunt and act aggressive.”

She said, “This list you’re giving me

Is really not impressive.

Mother Streusel

I cannot see the effort.

These are things you always do.”

     He said, “It’s different, Darling.

Now I’m doing them for you.”

©2014 Karyn Linnell

Mom’s Chocolate Cake

Mother Streusel

“Mom I’d love some chocolate cake.

I’ve really got a craving”

“Well, you’re in luck. I think I’ve got

Some cake that I’ve been saving.

Mother Streusel

Oops I was mistaken.

It isn’t cake, it’s pie,

Delicious chocolate mousse

With whipped cream piled high.”

Mother Streusel

“I guess that’d be alright.

Pie is also good.

Would you bring it to me please?”

“Why, yes, of course I would.

Mother Streusel

Hmm, seems I was wrong again.

It isn’t chocolate cream.

Turns out it’s banana,

But it tastes just like a dream”

Mother Streusel

“I guess banana pie is fine.

Wait, Mom, there’s some mistake.

This is a banana!”

“Yes, that’s nature’s chocolate cake.”

Mother Streusel 

 

©2014 Karyn Linnell

Grandma

(This poem has nothing to do with any of my relatives in case any of them are reading this.)Mother Streusel

I have crazy grandma

Who goes to great extremes

When she tells me something

It’s never what it seems

Mother Streusel

I had a birthday party

She said, “I will be there.

I got you a balloon.”

Turns out it was hot air

Mother Streusel

“Hey, let’s go out to dinner,”

She said, so I got ready

We took a plane to Italy

Because I like spaghetti

Mother Streusel

“Would you like a playhouse?”

She bought the lot next door

It has an elevator

And a gym on the third floor

Mother Streusel

I told my mom, “I’m nervous.”

She asked me, “Why is that?”

“Grandma called to tell me

That she got me a cat.”

© 2014 Karyn Linnell

Facebook Contest!

Have a poem written about your child, your dog, your best friend or yourself!

Have a poem written about your child, your dog, your best friend or yourself!

Because this site is new

In case you haven’t heard

I’m having a little contest

To try to spread the word

I will write a poem

About the winner or their kid

Or whoever they want

It could even be a squid

The poem will be published here

And also in awhile

In a Mother Streusel poetry book

Which I hope will make you smile

Comment on our Facebook page

All you have to do is write it

Then do whatever it takes

To get people to “like it”

If your comment is liked most

Then clearly you’ll have won

I’m excited about your entry

I think this will be fun!

I’m looking forward to seeing your comments and posts on http://facebook.com/motherstreusel.

You can post a picture of the person you want your poem about, a poem of your own, a clever little saying, or a plea for votes. It’s really up to you what you write (as long as it is during the month of February and kid-friendly!) The contest will close on the last day of February and the winner will be announced the following week. The winner will get to tell me who they want their poem about and what else they want in the poem (like hobbies, interests, favorite things or even a made-up adventure.) The winner may also have the poem be about more than one person provided they are siblings. MotherStreusel.com will reserve all rights to the poem. If you have any questions, please feel free to email karyn@motherstreusel.com.

Thanks to all who participated! You can see the winner’s poem here http://motherstreusel.com/2014/03/03/william-and-the-train/