Todd Schnetz

(Sorry there’s no pictures for this one…though when you read what this poem is about, there’s a chance you may not want them.)

Todd Schnetz shaved his eyebrows

Todd Schnetz shaved his legs

Todd Schnetz filled his backpack

Up with rotten eggs

Todd Schnetz took three girls

To the Winter Dance

Todd Schnetz went to English

Without any pants

Todd Schnetz licked a trash can

Todd Schnetz ate live bait

Todd Schnetz asked Coach Piedmont

To go out on a date

Todd Schnetz went a week

Without taking showers

Todd Schnetz wore handcuffs

For forty-eight straight hours

Todd wore a kilt in winter

A scuba suit in spring

A wedding dress in math class

Complete with diamond ring

There is no bigger loser

That I know of than Todd Schnetz

Which is why I wonder

Why he keeps taking bets

Some people have mentioned that they don’t get this poem. I’ll explain it for those who are confused. Todd Schnetz keeps losing bets with other people and has to do crazy things as a consequence of losing. For example, let’s say someone says, “Hey Todd, I bet I can beat you in a race. Loser has to shave their eyebrows.” And Todd goes, “You’re on!” and then loses…repeatedly. Also, yes, Todd Schnetz is hard to say and read. So this is sort of like a tongue twister and poem in one. So I’m sorry and you’re welcome. 


© 2014 Karyn Linnell

4 thoughts on “Todd Schnetz

  1. Its a great one..I think that instead of the reader being a bit confused of why the shaved eyebrows, etc…Maybe “The bet” or ” Schnetz liked to bet…” sort of a clue instead of explaining it…A catch phrase? …

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